[If you have no idea who I am, skip this part, as it will make so much not at all sense that you will instantly be over me. So I implore you, skip these next paragraphs. Start here. I just tried to do a “jump to” right there and I’ve no idea if it will work.]
[Oh, just go ahead and me over me, then.]
Hello, It’s me. I’ve thought about us for a long, long time.
When we last saw each other, as I was throwing confetti off the Pacific Princess and waving frantically to you on the dock–not that I was on the Doc from the show, as he wasn’t that hot.
I just looked it up. That actor who played Doc on the Love Boat is still alive. I dearly hope his last act in life isn’t to find my blog and see that he was no Issac and then blurrrggggh, he dies.
Anyway, I got bored. Is my point. I waved goodbye to you all, got COVID, got bored, then went to the fine folks of Facebook and asked, “If I were to restart a blog like it’s 2006, what would I call it?” And a lot of people had very dumb ideas, like Book of June II and Bruce and the like, till someone suggested I call it 3rd of June.
Cause, see, it’s my third return. I mean, it’s my 200th return. How many times have I quit this thing? But at first I was Bye Bye, Pie, and then I was Book of June, and now I’m the 3rd of June.
OK, FIRST first I was Bye Bye, Buy, then I was Bye Bye, Pie and then I was OH NEVER MIND.
I like 3rd of June, not just because this is totally 100% my third blog shut up, but also because Ode to Billie Jo was our official song of Bye Bye, Pie/Book of June. We got off on a tangent one day about what Billie Jo McAllister threw off the Tallahatchie Bridge and we never let it drop and then we used, “Pass the biscuits please” as a euph for “fuck you,” and a group song was born.
And that song begins, It was the 3rd of June, another sleepy, dusty Delta dayyyyy….
So once I had a good name, I had to blog again. I mean, also I was bored. Did I mention?
I decided to post on December 15, as it was on Dec. 15, 2006 that I began blogging. Back when I lived in Burbank and traveled an hour each way to make $25 an hour. That made sense.
So, it’s like a little 17-year celebration. Because everyone blogged in 2006. Who blogs now? No one. I’m like someone who just took up decoupage. Heyyyyy, did you guys know about ham radios? It’s m’new hobby! Even though I am hopelessly outdated…
I have returned.
So here I am. Again.
And if you never even heard of me before, hello. Is it me you’re looking for? Please touch my face and get out your block of clay.
Tomorrow, I’ll shave my afro close and fill you in on what’s new.
Tell us, Jooooooooooon
Where’m I working? How fat did I get during the panini? How did you catch COVID? Is Edsel alive? Where’s Ned? Is Ned alive? Did you marry Ned? Did you marry Ned’s corpse? Did Ned get COVID?
I am not even sure this newfangled thing has a comment section yet, but if it does, please let me know what you’d like to be updated on.
Before I go, let me see if I can add photos.
That didn’t take 65 years or anything. Blogs used to be easy. I used to be easy. Bake-ovens used to be easy.
Till tomorrow,
Joooooon
3rd of June 
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